This week, instead of one of my famously frequent, figurative face-plants,

I experienced a singular, literal ASS-PLANT.

I fell backwards off a six-foot ladder onto a concrete garage floor.

And it should have never happened, because of course

MODAH KNOWS EVERYTHING ABOUT LADDER SAFETY.

I had climbed the ladder to get my torso halfway through an opening into our attic.

And why would a hefty, sixty-two-year-old broad like me do that? Continue reading